


Bloody Love

by Christian_the_bluefrog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bondage, Canon-Typical Violence, Chick flick moment, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Sexually torture, Smut, Succubus, Torture, abandoned hospital, ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-07 04:33:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14663376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_the_bluefrog/pseuds/Christian_the_bluefrog
Summary: Sam and Dean have a huge fight. Dean takes off to cool down at a bar. Next thing he knows he is in a torture chamber of a sadistic succubus.





	1. Dean: Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cannon based fic that takes place around the beginning of season nine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean had a fight, and Dean stormed out to cool down at a bar. He trying to pick up a smoking chick and the next thing he knows he’s in the torture chamber of a sadistic succubus.

It wasn’t the biggest fight Sam and I ever had, hell, looking back it was small and stupid. But, I started it, and in the end, I left. I knew I’d come back, but I’m stubborn, thick headed, and sometimes, a jerk. I drove Baby to the nearest bar and started downing shots. Cas’ was running on stolen grace, Heaven had closed up shop, I needed a distraction. After five shots, I slowed down and started sipping on a beer. I wanted to forget, but I still needed to remember some of that night. I don’t drink until I black out anymore though. 

“Hey handsome.” A blonde woman in a sexy red dress strolled up and leaned on the bar give me quite the view of her cleavage. “I’m Rachel, by me a drink?” Dean took a look into her deep blue eyes and smiled. 

“Don’t have to ask me twice. Hey barkeep, another beer and whatever Rachel’s drinking.” I couldn’t keep my eyes off her body, curves in all the right places. 

“I’ll have a sex on the beach, please.” 

“Do you normally drink on Monday nights?” I asked.

“I try not to, but today’s been an ‘I need a drink type of day.’” Rachel spoke slow and used a lustful tone. 

“I’ve had my fair share of those.” 

“Hey, do you wanta get outa here?” She purred. 

“You read my mind.” I dropped forty dollars and followed her out. 

 

I woke up strapped to a wooden chair; like the old fashioned electric chairs. She must have slipped me something because my head was still fuzzy. There were straps on my ankles, wrists, and forehead; and what looked like a metal operating table with undone straps in the middle of the room. Shackles hung chained to the roof in several spots. They were clearly newer then the rest of the room, the paint was peeling, and there wasn’t any electricity. It looked like a surgical room from an abandoned hospital. On the counter were several metal trays. The first held knifes, hammers, tongs and a few other sharp devices. The next tray was lined with syringes, pre-filled with who knows what. 

“Morning sleepyhead.” Rachel said using a paring knife to pick under her finger nails. “So glad you’re awake. I was getting bored.” She flashed her black eyes. 

“A demon? Listen sister, you picked a hell of a victim, by the time I’m done with you-“ She started talking over me. 

“You’ll what, hunter? Kill me? I’m so scared.” She chucked climbing on my lap. Her legs bent by my sides allowing her to grind on me. She tucked the small knife behind her ear. “I’m not just a demon though. I’m a succubus, darling.” She continued grinding down on my lap. 

“This all you got?” I’d like to think that I have a good amount of control down there. At that point, I had a really good grip on things. 

“Oh honey, this isn’t even the warm up. You know I could smell you from the parking lot? All that built up angst, that pining for someone. You’ve been carrying that around a loooooonnnnnnnggggg time; haven’t you? So what’s her name? I can look just like her, you know? I can make this fun, easier on you too.” She climbed off slowly and leaned back against the table. I kept my mouth shut. “Have it your way.” She pulled the knife out and started cutting buttons off my favorite shirt. 

“I’ve been tortured before. There’s nothing you can do to me that hadn’t already been done.” I spoke up. 

“Is that a challenge? That sounded like a challenge.” She popped the last button off. I saw the knife hit my chest before I felt it. “I love the ink.” Her cuts were shallow along the lines of my anti-possession tattoo. Carefully staying in the lines she started at the bottom and sliced her way up, taking time to go back over some parts that still showed ink. The pain wasn’t easy but I’d felt far worse. The warm blood trickled down and collected at the top of my jeans. When she was finished she took a step back and admired her work. 

“How about some tally marks? Those are always fun. What should we count, Love? Hours? How about every time I have to ask who makes your heart go thump thump? Now where to put them?” She placed her hand on her chin in a thinking pose. “Well, speak up. It’s not as fun without your input.” I put on the best bitch face I could. “Alright, I guess we’ll start here. So what’s her name?” She placed the blade just in front of my right ear, waiting for my answer. I didn’t flinch or speak up. 

“If you listen carefully, you can hear the skin split.” She purred into my ear before making two one inch slits. She was right about being able to hear it. 

“I’ve cut myself worse shaving.” I used my shoulder to wipe the blood from my face. 

“Let’s crank this up a bit then, big boy.” 

 

About five hours later I had passed out from pain. There was a total of six tally marks on my face. I didn’t know how long I had been out when I finally regained consciousness. She wasn’t there, thank Chuck. I started to struggle against my right wrist restraint. If I could get the leather loose enough, maybe I could slip my hand out. My stomach growled. With any luck I’ll be out by dinner. The door rattled and I stopped moving. 

“Hello pumpkin! Did you have a nice nap?” I wanted to spit in her face, but restrained myself. “I’m hungry? Are you hungry? I’ll trade you some food for a name.” I kept my bitch face on. She took a new larger, serrated knife from her back pocket and added a tally mark. The old cuts stung from the brush of her hand as she made the new cut. 

“Well, just because you refuse to eat doesn’t mean I’m not getting my supper.” She bent down and kneeled between my knees. Then unziped my jeans and started cutting the denim with the knife. She was careful to leave my boxers briefs intact. After cutting down the inside of each leg she ripped all the fabric away. 

“Much better.” She hummed. She placed her hand slowly on my groin, which woke him up. “There we go.” She pulled her hand away and leaned down, blowing warm breaths slowly along the inside of my thighs. “You know, the thing about how I feed is, the longer I wait, the longer you’re waiting to explode, the sweeter the treat gets.” She raked her nails down my inner thighs, sending shivers through my whole body. I kept a straight face. 

She got up and unzipped her red dress, letting it fall to the ground to reveal black, lacy, silk lingerie. He was at half mass and climbing. She unhooked her bra keeping her eyes locked with mine. I couldn’t look away, probably one of her tricks. She pulled the bra away from her chest and bouncy, DD’s came into view. Tossing the bra at me, she moved closer. This wasn’t going to last much longer. I hated not having control over his body like this. I felt weak, pitiful, helpless. Those creamy, round melons were stuck right under my nose. She raised her eyebrow. 

“Don’t want to play?” She said bouncing a bit. “That’s ok, you can’t hold it in much longer anyway.” She lowered herself and used her breasts to rub up against my erection. That was it, I came in my underwear. She bent over and started licking the wet spot. “This is a very nice appetizer, honey.” She licked the last of the mess up. “I can’t wait to try the next course.” In one swift motion she got up, grabbed a syringe full of clear liquid, and jabbed it into my neck. A few seconds after that it was lights out.


	2. Dean: Day 2

I’ll admit things weren’t going according to plan; but I’m Dean Fucking Winchester. I don’t need help, especially ganking monsters. When I woke up this time I was dangling from chains with clamps around my wrists. I was now only wearing my boxer briefs. ‘Rachel’ wasn’t there. The tips of my toes could rest on the floor but other then that, all my weight was pulling down on my wrists. Grabbing the chains in my hands I started pulling myself up into an upside down position. I wrapped the chain around my leg and used it to support my weigh. My wrists were still sore but felt much better without my full body weight pulling on them. 

I had a better look at the cuffs from this angle as well. The metal had some rust on the outside, but it’d take something strong to break them; I’d have to pick the locks. The wound on my tattoo had opened from the movement, and I hadn’t noticed it until some blood dripped down almost landing in my eye. 

There were burn marks on my stomach from a cattle prod, that she had been using; my adrenaline had died down and the pain started to radiate outwards. The blood was rushing to my head, it was getting harder to think. Then ‘Rachel’ opened the door holding a glass of water. She had picked black, leather pants and a blue corset for today. 

“Oh, look at you! All tangled up in chains.” She crossed the room and yanked me down by my right arm. “Take a drink, Love.” She held the glass to my mouth and I started gulping it down; but it wasn’t water. My best guess was a mixture of vodka and vinegar. I spit iout as much as I could, but the rest burned my throat as it went went down and hit my stomach like a rock. 

“Oh, Darling, you don’t like my concoction?” She chuckled. I was starting to get nauseous. I really did not want to puke, and I tried as hard as I could to keep it down; but I couldn’t. Puking in the position I was in made it impossible to not get it all over myself. 

“Looks like someone made a mess.” She stuck out her bottom lip at me. After she got bored of watching my vomit run down my torso, including the open wound over my tattoo, she picked up a rag and ran it under some cold water. When she had finished, I was sopping wet, very cold and clean but at least the burns felt slightly better. 

“I’ll trade you some real water for a name.” After tossing the rag to the floor she picked up what looked like a dagger. She held it between her index fingers; one on the base, one in the tip. She wasn’t getting Cas’ name. I’d die before giving her anything that would jeopardize Cas. Even if she only used his name to find out how he looks, it could be catastrophic. 

“This is tally number eight then.” The dagger cut deeper then the other blades. Taking a step back she twisted her face in to a puzzled look. Then her body started morphing, better and faster then a shape shifter. Brown, waist length hair curled down her back. Her skin tone dropped a few shades darker, and her eyes melted into a soft caramel. 

“Am I hotter or colder?” She swayed her hips still holding the dagger. Sure, she looked attractive enough, but I knew she wasn’t going to settle for anyone less then Cas. She had said something about the longer you’ve waited, the sweeter the feed; or something like that. I’d been in love with Cas for years. I would protect him to my last breath. 

“I’ll take the silence as colder.” She swayed up to me and laid the flat side of the dagger in the center of my chest. “It’s such a shame, I have to mark up this beautiful body.” After dragging the tip of the dagger to my lower back, careful not to let it pierce the skin, she pointed the tip on my right butt cheek and at an agonizingly slow pace, pushed it into the mussel. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. After leaving it there for a moment she pulled it out and went to inspect the damage. 

“I’m going to want lunch soon, so I brought you this.” She pulled out a vibrating butt plug. That was the minute I realized I had let things go too far. I couldn’t get out of this on my own. She cut my last piece of clothing off, and forced the purple toy into me roughly. I couldn’t help letting out a noise in pain, that I can only describe as a yip. 

“You’re too cute, Pumpkin. I’ll be back in a few hours. Have fun now.” After she had left, I tried my hardest to find a way to remove that thing from my ass; with no success. 

“I know this is a long shot, but I’m praying Cas. I know you’re running on empty, but it’s important. I’m trapped, being tortured. I can’t get myself out of this one. Please hurry, I need you.” I whispered the prayer. I wasn’t about to give up or stop fighting, but having admitted that, maybe I couldn’t get myself out of this one seemed to slightly, and I mean very, very slightly, put me at ease. Just having that hope that Cas might be coming to save me, that made a difference. I needed to be as ready as I could be if he found me; so I started to lift myself upside down again. There’s got to be a way out of these.


	3. Cas: Day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of suicide.

I knew something was wrong when Sam called me. He’d explained that he and Dean had an argument, and Dean didn’t return to the bunker last night. He wanted to know if I’d spoken with him recently. I hadn’t. He told me not to worry, that Dean does this sometimes. He was probably sleeping it off in some chick’s bed, Sam said; but I knew there was something off about it. 

It wasn’t sitting right. It had been a while since Dean had a hook up. Not that I’d been keeping track of that. Alright I had been. As I went about my day, my mind kept going back to the topic of Dean. I tried to write it off. I told myself I hadn’t seen him in a while. I love him and I worry too much. I love him in general, so he’s always on my mind; but all these excuses didn’t seem to fit the current feeling or type or worry going on in my head. It was like a headache, but not a painful one; it was just noticeable enough to be annoying. 

I heard Dean’s prayer just before noon, and I knew I should not have ignored that gut feeling. I tried calling Sam, but he didn’t pick up. 

“Sam, it’s Cas. Dean is in trouble. Call me.” I left the short voicemail. After a quick tracking spell, I had Dean’s location. I decided not to wait for Sam. Dean’s prayer sounded so desperate, so weak, it hurt so much to hear. I wasn’t going to wait. It was roughly a two hour drive before I ran out of road; it ended in parking lot beside a think forest. Brush covered the ground, trees on top of each other, and no clear path or road. Dean was somewhere in that forest. I didn’t give it a second thought. I pushed away branches and began to gain ground towards Dean. 

It was another hour before I came to a clearing. It looked like the forest had engulfed a large hospital. The building looked old; maybe 1930’s. It could have been abandoned during the Great Depression. I took in the large building; eight floors. I pushed my thoughts of worry. I would find my hunter. 

The front glass doors were locked. Do I break them and possibly alert Dean’s captors? No, I have to play this smart; but I still need to be fast. I started circling the building until I found and emergency exit that was left propped open. Summoning my angel blade, I slowly opened the door, hoping it wouldn’t creek. The dark hallway in front of me looked like it came directly out of a horror movie. There were children’s toys and leaves littering a tiled, rotten floor. I tried to shut the door in the exact position I found it in, and made my way carefuly down the hall. 

Most of the rooms were open, containing small beds or cribs. This was the children’s wing. I scanned each room, doubtful whoever had Dean would keep him this close to the exit; but I had to check. Around the tenth room I was startled by the ghost of a little boy. He was standing by the window, facing the door. 

“Do you want to play?” He asked gripping his hospital gown gently. I’m not very good with children. I’m not very good with adults for that matter. 

“I’m looking for someone. Can you help me?” My main focus was on Dean. 

“Is it a girl or a boy?” Patience is very important when speaking with children I’ve learned, but my mind was racing with the thought that Dean was still in danger. 

“A boy, an older boy. With dark hair and green eyes.” 

“The mean lady has him.” We were getting somewhere. 

“Can you tell me about the mean lady?” 

“I don’t like her; she makes people scream. I don’t like screaming.” He open his mouth and the sound that came out sounded exactly like Dean screaming. My heart ripped in half, but my head told me to focus. 

“Where is the mean lady keeping him?” 

“She lives on the top floor. We don’t go up there; but when I saw the man she took up last, I wanted to know.”

“Know what?” 

“Why they screamed.” This wasn’t helping, he knew where Dean was. 

“How do I get to the top floor?” 

“I’ll show you, if you help me.” He smiled, but it wasn’t evil. More like a child who had just been told he gets to eat cake for breakfast. I nodded quickly and he ran past me. 

“Where are we going?” I asked as we picked up speed. 

“To the food place.” I followed closely and we entered the cafeteria. There were vending machines still filled with candy and chips. The tables were covered in dust. There was a station set up with utensils, condiments, and napkins. He dashed to the closest table and pointed at the salt shaker. I grabbed it and he took off again to a staircase this time. I expected him to go up. There were lots of reasons a ghost could use salt; maybe he wanted to trap a bully. But he started down stairs; a sigh posted on the wall read: morgue. The arrow under it pointed down. 

“In there.” He pointed at the wall where there was a row of drawers; the type that lead to refrigerators that keep bodies cold. This was taking a dark turn. I reached out and opened it. After pulling the table out I found the body of a little boy. 

“Who is this? Is it you?” He nodded walking up and looking over the corpse. It hit me; I knew what he wanted me to do. 

“I need you to do it for me please.” He placed his hand on the hand of his corpse. 

“Why?” This was a much harder favor then I thought it would be. It was like helping a child end life, only it seemed worse. I was ending his existence. 

“There are only three of us here, Alice, Michel, and me. Plus the mean lady. I’m lonely and tired of the screaming. This place makes me sad. I don’t want to be here anymore. Please, just do it.” I pulled out my lighter, Dean had made a list of small items I should always carry; lighter, bobby-pin, cell phone. 

“Are you sure?” What about showing me the way?”

“Follow the stairs up. It’s the second hallway, last door on the left; room 823.” He let go of his hand; looked up and nodded. “Please. I’m ready.” I emptied the salt shaker on the boy’s body, and searched for a flamible chemical. The first thing I found was rubbing alcohol. After splashing a bit, I let the body on fire. 

“Thank you.” The boy whispered before he burned away. I realized I hadn’t even asked his name. Despite the what I just had to do, I knew I was no where near finished with my mission. Dean needed me. 

I ran up the stairs, slowing down to reduce my noise at the sixth floor. I peeked through the glass rectangle on the door to the top floor; it was clear. Readying my angel blade, I tiptoed into the hall following the boy’s instructions. I had almost reached the door when I was knocked off my feet by a blow to the back of my knee. I went down hard and slammed my head in the floor. I swung the angel blade as I flipped onto my back and missed. The creature was welding a metal pipe. She knocked my weapon from my hand and then with a swift blow to the head; it was lights out.


	4. Dean: Day 2

My dick was so hard it hurt. I was frustrated, angry, and horny. I had tried every single angle, every possible solution to getting my self out of this shit. Several hours had gone by and I’d accomplished absolutely nothing. There was a loud bang in the hallway. The door opened and the succubus strolled in, eyes locked on me. In her hand was a dirty hospital gown. 

“Let’s get you dressed for company.” She tied it awkwardly around my waist and took a moment to admire my bulge.

“Don’t worry Love, it’s almost lunch time.” She licked her lips making eye contact. She left only for a moment and tears formed in my eyes when she returned. She was dragging Cas in by the arms. He was moaning, which meant he was alive and I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. 

“Oohhhh.” She let out a seductive moan. She dropped Cas, licked her lips, and let out a long, breathy sigh.

“I don’t think I’ve ever smelted anything more delicious then this; boy did I have you pegged wrong. He is very attractive though, I’ll give you that. I think we should set the scene, we can do better then this.” I didn’t know what to say. There was no point in denying I love Cas. She ripped the hospital gown off and stripped the trench coat of the angel. Taking her time she arranging it on me, just enough to hide my throbbing erection. 

“Much better, but we’re not finished yet.” She flashed a seductive smile. With little effort she hung Cas on a set of chains exactly like mine. With her dagger she sliced his blue jacket off and unbuttoned his shirt. She put the dagger down and lifted the trench coat. With one lick from the base to the tip it was over. She swallowed all of it down, and tried desperately to suck the last drops out. After replacing the trench coat she pulled the vibrating top out with a pop. 

“How about we wake our guest up?” She walked over to her tray of instruments. When she found none up to her standards, she opened the cabinet and pulled out a wooden baseball bat. 

“No!” I shouted. She looked to Cas and back to me. 

“You’d rather I beat you then him?” She questioned. 

“Yes, do what you want with me; but leave him alone.” She swung the bat around, playing with it. 

“Choices, choices; I could wake him up by cracking his ribs, or I can wake him up with the sound of your screams. Both choices make me tremble; honestly I don’t just torture to get information. It’s the best type of foreplay.” She swung the bat down and leaned against it. Her face gave away the fact she had already made her choice, but this was another mind game; making me wait and wonder. 

“Just swing at me already.” I kicked my legs up, but she was just out of reach. If I got her upset I might have a chance to make her choose me. She walked over to my side and aimed the bat for my lower back. I braced myself, and the force of the swing sent me forward on the chains. I’d decided not to scream, not one noise would escape my mouth. I wanted Cas to see as little of this as possible; he need to stay unconscious. She readied the bat again and brought it down on the same spot. I let out a low grunt and started taking deep breaths. I expected a third blow to the same spot, but a white, hot, fire of pain ripped through my body as she hit the stab wound on my ass. I couldn’t help but scream. 

“Dean!” Cas’ eyes shot open. He took in his surroundings, horror in his eyes. 

“There we go. Good morning sleeping beauty!” She chuckled. She tapped the bat against my wound again. I hissed in pain. 

“Stop!” Cas’ voice was powerful and his eyes shown a glowing blue. She let out a squeak of joy. 

“Really? An angel!” She skipped in front of me, wearing a huge grin. 

“Cas, save your grace.” I grunted; the pain still rippling through my body. She turned and skipped over to Cas. She was elated and flaunting it. 

“Oh, don’t you smell good!” She raised her eyebrows at him. She still had the bat in her hands and positioned herself to swing. 

“Nooo! We agreed, you hurt me; not him.” My breath came out hard and fast, my heart racing at the idea of Cas going through what she’d done to me. 

“I didn’t agree to anything.” She struck the bat against Cas’ chest. He let out a noise and sucked in a deep breath. I started to grind my teeth. She was not going to do this to my angel. I started to wildly swing myself, kicking and screaming. She turned around and restrained my legs. 

“You know, I thought that all of this angst was because he didn’t love you back; but here’s the kicker, he does. If you’d grown some balls, you could have had him years ago. There’s more sexual tension radiating from him, then from you. It’s beautiful; I get to enjoy both of you.” She whispered in my ear. The heaviness of that statement brought tears to my eyes. He loves me, he loved me longer then I’d loved him. She licked a tear from my face. 

“I think I’ll try something new. Mix it up a bit.” She grabbed another syringe and stabbed me in the neck. 

“Stop!” Cas’ voice broke my heart. It hurt so incredibly bad knowing that he loved me and had to watch this. It was one thing to think my best friend had to watch me being tortured, but knowing he loved me and had to watch made it so much worse. My arms and legs started to go numb. 

“What did you do?” I slurred. 

“It paralyzes your body, but you get to stay awake and aware.” She pulled out the angel blade I hadn’t realized she had stuck in the back of her pants. 

Three hours later Cas had passed out from pain. He was bruised, bleeding, and limp. The drug had started to wear off and I had been trying to scream. Not having control of your body like this was a whole new type of torture. Every fiber of my being burned to move and speak; to comfort Cas. I desperately needed him to hear my voice, anything that might help him. 

“I’m beat, time sure flies when you’re having fun.” She yawned. She put out the cigarette. It was one of many new things she’d used on Cas. 

“I’m sure you could use some shut eye too. Can’t have you falling asleep tomorrow during our next round of fun.” She walked back over to Cas, kissed him harshly on the lips, causing his eyes to fly open. He struggled against the chains and swung himself away. She smiled and left slamming the door. There was a click, then silence. Cas and I stared at each other. 

“Dean, are you ok?” He coughed the question out. 

“I’m fine.” I lied. Telling him the truth in this situation wouldn’t help anything. He sighed in relief. 

“I have a bobby-pin in my jacket.” He nodded to the trench coat around my waist. I started shaking and it fell to the ground. Desperately, I tried to grip it with my toes. It took a minute, but I had it. I smiled for the first time in what felt like forever. Then I heard the lock click and the door opened, the succubus walked in holding a cup of liquid. She noticed my curled toes immediately. 

“Naughty boy.” She growled. She strolled quickly to me and snatched the pin away. After placing it in her pocket, she held the cup to my lips. I pulled away. 

“It’s water; promise.” She rolled her eyes and took a sip. Reluctantly I tasted it, and when it turned out to be water I gulped the whole cup down. 

“I was hoping to save these for later but, since you’ve been a naughty boy you need to be punched.” She pulled a small cock ring and a blue butt plug from her pocket. Cas couldn’t see what she had in her hand, and I thank Chuck for that. She fondled me for a few seconds, just enough to be able to slide the ring on. I could see a look of horrified curiosity cross Cas’ face. 

“This one is more powerful then the last. It also has very unique settings.” She forced it into me from behind and started to change the power and pase of the vibrations. 

“Angel, pick a number, 1-20.” He stayed quiet until she picked up a knife. She took it and made a tally mark on the other side of my face. 

“Stop! Nine; I pick nine!” He kicked his legs up. She pushed a button and I adjusted to the new pattern. 

“Let’s tell a story since we’re playing games. Dean, tell the angel the story of how you got the tally marks on the other side of you’re face. Oh and new rule! If you don’t do something when I ask, the tally mark goes on the others face. Now, story time Dean!” She walked over to Cas, dagger in hand. 

“Don’t! I’ll tell it!” She smiled and leaned up against Cas, placing her arm around his hips. It was infuriating, and she knew it. 

“She knew that I had been in love with someone. Apparently succubi can smell it. She wanted to know who. I wouldn’t say. So every time she asked me and I didn’t answer, she made a tally mark.” 

“Keep going.”

“That’s the story! What else do you want me to say!” 

“The name of the person you love. Who you’ve loved for years. The name you moan in you’re sleep.” She raised the dagger againplacibg it against his cheek. 

“Cas! Castiel! Put the fucking dagger down! It’s Cas!” I would say anything she wanted. I would lie if I had to. As long as it meant she would stop hurting Cas. She watched Cas’ face as I spoke. It was a mixture of bliss and then the realization of the situation. 

“How many tally marks are there?” He whispered. 

“Do you remember Dean?” 

“Sixteen.” I saw Cas take in a small gulp of air. Why did he ask, he knew it would hurt him to hear the answer. He asked for the same reason I would have though. He wanted to know how much I had done to protect him. The succubus grabbed two syringes off the tray. She stuck one in Cas’ neck, and pretended to stick the other in mine. What the hell was she doing? 

After Cas was out cold, I watched in horror as she changed her form once again. I found myself looking at the face I see in the mirror every morning. Every cut and bruise matched. She was a perfect copy of me. 

“No! No! Noooooo!” I screamed as loud as I possibly could. She unhooked his cuffs and started to carry him away, turning to give me a cocky smile one more time before locking me in the room alone.


	5. Cas: Day 2

I awoke to wet fire on my calf. Dean was pouring alcohol on my largest wound. I took in my surroundings, we were in a different room; the succubus nowhere in sight. 

“Dean? What’s going on?” He grabbed some gauze and violently lifted my leg to wrap it. I tried to stop myself from crying out, putting my hand over my mouth. 

“What’s going on is, I’m saving your ass. Seriously Cas, how stupid are you? The succubus has had me for days, did you really think you could beat her when I couldn’t?” He tossed my leg aside when he was done, and I started to cry silently; not from the pain but from his words. I didn’t know what I was thinking. 

“I just wanted to rescue you, Dean.” He scoffed after I spoke. 

“You know as well as I do that I do not need to be rescued like some damsel in distress.” He peeked out the door and shut it quietly. 

“I think we’re on the fifth floor. It was hard to see the signs carrying your fat ass.” The tears grew heavier and I prayed he wouldn’t noticed. 

“You should leave me here, Dean. Save yourself, please.” 

“You know I won’t do that Cas.” This sounded almost like the old Dean, who would risk his life for a stranger and battle any monster without fear. He was gathering things from around the room. 

“I have to patch myself up too.” He grumbled. 

“Dean can we talk about what you said earlier?” I wanted to ask while I still had the courage to do so. He started to wash and dress his wounds. 

“Listen Cas, at one point of another, I’ll admit the I thought I might have had feelings beyond friendship. Then the more I thought about it, the more repulsive it got. It completely disgusted me. I’m straight, you know that. The first time I ever thought about what it’d be like to be with you, like that, I almost threw up; and even if you had a female vessel, I don’t think I could be with you. I can’t trust you. You’ve made it very clean you don’t think before you act.” He finish cleaning himself up. I was broken. I would have gladly volunteered to be tortured for the rest of my existence, if it meant that Dean didn’t think that of me. 

“First things first, I need food and water. I’ve been running on empty for days. Listen, Cas, after I get you out of this disaster, I don’t want you around for a while; or at all. I can’t babysit you anymore. You’re putting to many lives in danger. I wish things could be different, but you brought this on yourself.”

“There is a cafeteria on the first floor.” The words came out automatically as my brain tried to process what Dean just said. This was it, the end of everything. What would I do with myself. Sam and Dean were my life, I gave up everything; everything! And I’d do it again for them. I had always dreaded that one day, something would happen that would take me away from the Winchester’s. It was my worse fear.  
; but Dean was right, I did this. It’s my fault. I don’t deserve to be around Dean. I’d lost that privilege; that amazing gift.

“Stay here Cas, I cant go chasing after you if you decide you want to go play hero again.” He closed the door behind him. I couldn’t move, this pain hurt worse then any I had ever experienced. To know that I’d never see the man I love again. If I had the angel blade I could rid Dean of myself. He would be happier and he could just save himself. He wouldn’t miss me; but that’s be too easy on me. I deserve to suffer through this heart break. I had screwed things up so bad. I didn’t deserve Dean. I didn’t deserve anything.


	6. Dean: Day 3

She had carried the man I love away, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I know he’s an angel, with angelic powers and bad-ass wings. But he’s a baby in a trench coat. She’s using his emotions against him. I’m not even sure he had emotions before he raised me from Hell. I don’t want to even begin to think of what sick, twisted shit she is doing to him.

The worst part is that I don’t know what’s worse; her breaking his heart as me or her using him to feed as me. I can only pray that she’s still torturing him, because the other option is death. If she was telling the truth, that he’s in love with me. She might only need to feed one time. I can handle my emotions; hell, I could start a school on how to hide you’re emotions. Cas, he cant. My sweet angel would pour his heart out, give her exactly what she wants. She’d get the meal of a life time and leave Cas an empty husk.

How fucked up is it to hope the man you love is only being tortured. If only I hadn’t said that prayer. This could have been avoided. My angel would be safe. I put his life in danger, if this goes south- if he- it’s on me. The door opened forcefully.

”Dean, I’ll get you down.” Cas rushed in, the bloody angel blade in his hand. He frantically started searching the room.

“Cas! What the hell happened?” I asked, but I knew something was wrong. This wasn’t Cas. I don’t know how I knew, but I did. This wasn’t my angel.

”She said something you’d never say. I got the angel blade away and she’s laying on the floor down stairs.” He rushed over with something to pick the lock. 

“Cas, do you remember that night, we just finished off a pack of werewolves and we went back to the cabin. I followed you to your room and you said I looked like I was about to fall over. I was about to tell you the truth. But I just couldn’t.” It knew he wasn’t my Cas, but I had to be sure. This lie would tell me the truth.

“Of course I remember Dean, there were so many times that I wanted to tell you myself.” The lock clicked and I fell to my knees. I was weaker then I thought. My hands started to sting. I hadn’t realized how little blood flow they had gotten. Now, all I needed was one of her toys to subdue her until I could get the angel blade away. Something I could use, with what little energy I had. 

“Let me help you.” He bent down and put my arm over his shoulder. I still had the upper hand. She’d gotten greedy. The only reason she’d come back for me is because she was hungry and Cas wasn’t emotional enough yet. Which meant he was still alive. I scanned the room; baseball bat, knifes, cattle prod, no but getting closer, chains, saw, blowtorch. That one. 

“Cas I can’t stand like this. I need to sit for a minute. Against the wall, so I can rest, please.” He nodded pulling me as gently as he could to the closet wall; and within arm’s reach of the blowtorch. He sat in front of me.

”Dean, I think we need to talk.” Dear Chuck, I hope my acting skills are as good as I think they are. I started leaning over, hoping he would assume I was just supporting myself on my hand. 

“I guess we should. Cas I- I’ve loved you for so long. I just- I’ve been afraid to tell you.” I put a quiver in my voice.

“I was always waiting for you to make the first move, me being an angel I thought-“ I interrupted.

”This isn’t your fault, Cas, but I need you to know something.”

”Yes Dean?” In one swift movement, I had the blowtorch on and in her face.

”No one hurts MY ANGEL!” She screamed and fell to right. My hand followed her face and my left hand grabbed the angel blade from her. She was frantically clawing at me and making a gurgling noise. She scratched me once as I drove the blade into her face, her mouth specifically. Then I stabbed her twice more in the chest for good measure. 

My adrenaline was pumping, which is why I was even able to stand. As quickly as I could I made my way down the hall. 

“Cas! Cas! Castiel! Cas!” I shouted as loud as my voice would let me. My voice cracked and my vocal chords screamed at me, they were on fire, but I didn’t care. I needed to find Cas. I found a stair way and flung the door open. I jumped back when I saw a girl in a long bloody hospital gown standing on the stairs. She looked no older then twelve, with long hair and wide eyes.

”You killed you her. Thank you.” It only took me a second to realize she was a ghost. I couldn’t fight a ghost in my condition, but as soon as she thanked me I realized I wasn’t in danger. 

“I’m Alice, you’re looking for the man with the black hair, right?” I nodded trying to save what voice I had left. 

“Come on, follow me.” She took me to the fifth floor and pointed at a door at the end of the hall. 

“He’s been crying for a long time. Can you make him stop?” I smiled at her and nodded again. I opened the door slowly so I wouldn’t surprise Cas. He was sitting on the floor up against a corner, hands hiding his face, sobbing into them. 

“Cas.” It was a whispered, because that’s all I could muster. His head shot up and he used his shirt to clear the tears away. 

“Hello, Dean. Did you find the food?” I’ve never heard his voice so small and scared. I sat down on my knees in front of him and put my hands on his shoulders.

”Cas, that wasn’t me. The succubus took my form to hurt you. Anything the last Dean you spoke to said, it wasn’t real. It wasn’t me.” He pulled away. 

“How do I know you’re the real Dean, then?” His voice still shaking. I slowly took his hand and placed it over the handprint he’d left there years ago.

”You gave up everything for me. You saved my soul and my life, time after time. When I had given up, you gave me the strength to keep on keeping on. We’ve fought side by side and we’ve fought each other; but in the end we always make up. Because your my angel and I’m your hunter.” Cas flew foward and wrapped his arms tightly around my neck.

He started crying into my neck, his body shaking. I held him tight. I could live in these arms forever, but we both needed to be patched up. After a few minutes, when Cas’ sobs had slowed down, I pulled him just far enough away to look into his amazing eyes. 

“Let’s go home.” 

 

 

 


	7. Cas: Day 3

I sat on the end of the bed in my room. I’m not sure why they gave me a room. I don’t need to sleep. Dean was still asleep, he needed his rest. Sam was in the war room, pretending to read; last I checked, but he was too worried about Dean to actually focus on a book. 

After we had reached the car I helped Dean in the passenger seat and grabbed my second cellphone from the glovebox. I called Sam, who had caught a small case and had just checked his voice mail. He had called my first phone twice and was extremely panicked. I gave him the short version of what happened and by night fall he had reached us. On the way to the bunker Dean passed out and slept on my shoulder the rest of the way home. I informed Sam about most of the details, leaving out things that he didn’t need to know. 

All I can think about now is the next conversation Dean and I will have. What will he say? What will I say? I’ll tell him the truth, I suppose. There was a light knock at my door. 

“Cas, Dean’s awake. He can’t get up, but he asked me to come get you.” Sam called through the door. With an anxious sigh, I stood, keeping most of my weight on my good leg. Sam was still standing there when I opened the door. He hadn’t said but three sentences since the car ride. It was a lot to take in, finding out what Dean and I went through. Sam had cried as we carried Dean to his room. 

“Thank you, Sam.” I shuffled past him and up to Dean’s door. After knocking I heard a gruff mumble, which I took to mean ‘come in.’ Dean was sitting up in bed, bandages and gauz covering most of his upper torso. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying again. He motioned to the chair at the foot of his bed, so I sat. He shook his head. 

“Closer, up here.” He was putting effort into trying to sound normal, but I could tell it was causing more pain. I pulled the chair up to the head of the bed before sitting again. 

“Dean, don’t put on a voice for me. I know you’re hurt, and I want you to heal as soon as possible, so please, don’t.” He nodded and looked to the floor. After taking a deep breath I decided that I should start the conversation. Getting Dean to talk about his feeling is harder the pulling teeth from a great white shark. So here going nothing. 

“When I pulled you from Hell, the first time I saw you, your soul, really. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I could recognize beauty and strength. Knowing how much you’d been through, and seeing how amazing your soul was, it affirmed my belief that you were the one we needed. As we spent more time together, I started to care for you, which was very confusing. I got the hang of it after a while, but as soon as I thought I understood my feelings, then you went and changed them again. I knew what love was; but feeing it, words can’t convey how amazing it was, how amazing you made me feel. Being with you, no matter what we were doing, I looked forward to those moments I could spend with you. But I knew I’d never be able to tell you. I could never be with you; I wouldn’t risk our friendship for a tiny chance that you felt the same. I had convinced myself that it was impossible for you to have those feelings towards me. I’m an imperfect angel, I’m a male vessel. I don’t deserve you. I screwed up so many times, I’ve brought so much pain to you and Sam. I considered myself lucky to still have your friendship.” I paused not knowing where to go next. 

“What do you mean you don’t deserve me? If anyone in this room is undeserving it’s me. Do you know how much I’ve done? How many times I’ve fucked up? It hurts me to know that’s how you feel about yourself.” He scooted over and patted the spot next to him. I stood and sat on the bed legs crossed. 

“Cas, lay down next to me, please.” It took me a moment, I couldn’t believe this was really happening. I laid down on my side and he snuggled up into my arms. He was warm, and his hair brushed my chin slightly tickling me. 

“I was scared to admit how I felt about you, even to myself; for a long time. I was scared of what it meant. I was scared because I know that as a hunter you can’t have relationships. People you love who can be used against you. I was scared because maybe you thought of us as friends and I’d make it awkward. I was scared of loosing you.” He spoke into my neck as he cuddled closer. His breath warm on my skin, but not in a sexual way. It was calming, gentle. I reached my arms around him and adjusted so he was almost under me, hoping it would give him the same comfort he gave me. I was unsure of how to respond. There was so much I wanted to tell him, but first I had to know. 

“Are things going to change between us?” I held my breath. 

“Yes; is it ok if I make some suggestions?” I nodded fearing the worst. 

“Stop me if you object. From now on you sleep in my bed. I get to hold your hand and cuddle you. I reserve the right to call you my angel, or any other nicknames I like. I expect no less then five Eskimo kisses a day. Whenever either of us are having a bad day it is mandatory that the other hold them until they feel better. And lastly I get to kiss you when ever I want.” Then he leaned up and softly pressed his lips against mine. He tasted just as I imagined he would; sweet like a mix of pie and coffee. His hand slid up the back of my neck pulling me deeper into the kiss. I’m still very unexperience with this and I tried to follow his lead; opening my mouth when his tongue met my lips. As gently as I could I rolled him on top of me without breaking our kiss. Both his hands were now in my hair, part pulling and part playing. I ran my fingertips up his back, trying not to hurt his bruised skin. He jumped and shivered on top of me. I pulled away. 

“No, come back. I liked that.” He mumbled into my mouth. With just a little more pressure I traced his hips and lower back. He let out a deep moan. I’d never felt this happy before, holding Dean in my arms. 

“Woah!” Sam yelled slamming the door. Dean laughed into our kiss. I started to chuckle too. We laughed until we couldn’t anymore, both breathing hard, lips brushing together. He slid off of me onto his back, and I quickly rested my head on his chest. Craving as much contact as I could possibly have. He wove his fingers in mind and rested our tangled hands on his stomach. 

“So this is what it’s going to be like from now on?” I asked. 

“Do you want it to be?” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“I do.”


	8. Sam: Epilogue

I had gone back to the table to try and actually get some research done, when my stomach growled. Accepting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything today I made my way to the kitchen. There wasn’t much in the fridge, but there was ham and cheese. 

I made two sandwiches adding lettuce and tomato to mine. Sometimes I wish Cas ate; it’d be nice to cook for him. I find that the best was to to tell someone you care about them is to take care of them. My mind had been stuck on some of the details Cas had told me. If it wasn’t for him, Dean might not have survived. I shook the thoughts from my head. 

I poured a glass of ice water and put Dean’s sandwich on a plate. Later, I’ll go out and get pie, I decided; maybe some beer too. I turned the corner and interrupted a full on make out session. 

“Woah!” I slammed the door shut with my foot, careful to not drop anything. There was laughter behind the door and I smiled as I started back to the kitchen. 

“Fucking Finally!”


End file.
